Crowds

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Steve
on April 30, 2009
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“Few men realise that their life, the very essence of their character, their capabilities and their audacities, are only the expression of their belief in the safety of their surroundings. The courage, the composure, the confidence; the emotions and principles; every great and every insignificant thought belongs not to the individual but to the crowd: to the crowd that believes blindly in the irresistible force of its institutions and of its morals, in the power of its police and of its opinions.”

Joseph Conrad, An Outpost of Progress, 1896.

Opportunity

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Steve
on March 15, 2009
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“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work”

Thomas A. Edison, 1847 - 1931

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The Penultimate Day

Published
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Steve
on March 12, 2009
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Today was my second to last day at my hellish stopgap job, I reckon that means that anything that came to me after lunch today can legitimately be left for some other poor bastard to tackle when I’m gone. Obviously I haven’t publicly broadcast my new policy to the folks I work with/ for but I think they probably expect just that.

Tomorrow therefore is my very last day in that place (anything that arrives tomorrow can certainly be left alone) and I have to admit I’m going to miss the other stopgappers I’ve met while I’ve been there. Some are too stupid to realise the position they are in, a great many others hate it at least as much as me and I do hope they find the escape hatch shortly.

Anyway fuck all that I’m off! Whoop! Na Na Na Na Na NA NA NA NA NA

Important Lessons

Published
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Steve
on March 8, 2009
in Blogging and News
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Given that very very few people read this page it comes as no surprise to me that it has gone without notice that I haven’t posted anything at all since October last year. The reason for this embarrassing oversight is twofold. 1) My current employer has completely banned internet usage with the slothenly, vindictive gang of bastards known as managers checking your site history on a daily basis and 2) I’ve been keenly searching for another job.

The good news however is that I have now successfully secured myself a brand new job, in fact I have two new jobs though one I’m not so keen on. These jobs are unfortunately not really doing anything I’m particularly interested in but it’s still a good chance for a fresh start. I’m now about to enter my final week at my hellish current job and I have to say that it feels good, 3 weeks of working under notice has however given me time to think and to work out how the 2.5 years I’ve been stopgapping have gone so very wrong. I believe now that I have learned 3 valuable lessons from this experience:

1) Never ever let your employer/ your boss know that you hate them; keep it a carefully guarded secret at least, if possible pretend you absolutely fucking love every second you are there/ everything they do.

2) Choose your battles; it is a simple fact that when working for morons with less business acumen and common sense than a soiled mattress that mistakes are going to be made. These mistakes may very well make your life harder but you have to resist the urge to rail against everything they do like some kind of surly French resistance fighter.

3) Some people can not be reasoned with and so should be avoided at all costs (this person is likely to be in a position of seniority). It simply isn’t worth the risk of dealing with this sizable body of simpletons, they probably have an agenda all to themselves which probably centres around their abject fear of everyone finding out they are a vapid workshy fuckwit. Stay away/ smile sweetly when they are near.

I have learned each and every one of these lessons the hard way so you don’t have to, if you are stuck in your own personal stopgap hell try and leave quietly.

Quitting the habit

Published
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Steve
on October 30, 2008
in Blogging and Rage
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A short time ago I decided to stop complaining about my stopgap job and get on with finding something better. I’ve been working hard at this (I have at least been sitting in front of the computer trawling the web and hoping something catches my eye) and I’m beginning to pick up some leads; undoubtedly a good thing but it hasn’t stopped me from complaining. Perhaps I need to get it out of my system once and for all (perhaps my subconscious has already started trying to, I have been rather difficult of late) but I can’t see that helping as it is most likely to come out in a scathing flood while in the office. Principle to my concerns about self control at work is the fact that my boss is a total fuckwhit, allow me to explain. I work for a company that prefers to police its staff rather than offer incentives for good work, that sees staff as expendable and to this end is simply the most petty minded organisation I can imagine. On Wednesday I left the office 15 minutes after 5pm, some would call this late; I arrived on Thursday at 5 minutes past 9, some may also call this late. No forgive my ignorance but surely one easily cancels the other out, not so, my boss is a cunt! A little while ago still (all since I promised complaining) they decided to more than double my level of accountability and insist I supervise staff, there is no pay rise to be had for this (budget constraints apparently, I feel profit constraints may be more appropriate). Finally just to make things worse we are to loose a colleague and gain 30% more work each, I explained I was worried about this, they responded by pointing out that I spend around 5 minutes each day using the internet (quite conceivably for work, though I admit, like most I do sometimes use it for myself) at work each day and if I was to cut that out I’d surely have time (the argument that 5 minutes constitutes 1.1% of my day and not 30% is lost on these fat headed morons). I’ve literally had enough, I try to be positive but they are just such a huge gang of morons I’m really struggling to stick it out.

Dreams

Published
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Steve
on October 13, 2008
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“Dreams are merciless; they come upon you when you’re asleep”

Joseph Heller, Something Happened, 1974.

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Complaining?

Published
by
Steve
on October 11, 2008
in Blogging
. 4 Comments

I’m not one to complain; I’m certainly not the type to start up a blog with the specific intention in whining about my job and life in general. Sometimes though it’s hard to maintain the positive outlook for which I am so well know; perhaps I loose focus. I’ve been working in this stupid soul destroying nonsense job for some time, I’m getting me nowhere and I’m certainly not getting used to it yet (never will). Meanwhile many of my friends, relations and acquaintances have, perceivably, been doing far better than I am. Many make more money, some enjoy their jobs, some are at least using the knowledge they gained at university etc. (All I want (need) is a job that isn’t mine, and if possible I need (want) more money too). The result of this is that I’m beginning to feel a little left behind, I’m moving to the periphery and becoming removed. One of my friends has recently gone back to university after 3 years of tedious stopgapping, another has just finished a masters course having spent 2 years part time stopgapping; in the same period I have gained nothing but higher blood pressure and a more dour outlook on life. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
It’s now a matter of my sanity. I have to do something, I have to do better. I have got to stop talking and take some action. Most of all I’ve got to stop complaining!

A quote about books and people

Published
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Steve
on September 25, 2008
in Quotes
. 1 Comment
“Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.”
Paul Valéry, Source Unknown, (1871 - 1945)

 

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Particularly Frustrating

Published
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Steve
on September 15, 2008
in Blogging and Rage
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This past week has been more frustrating than most, I’ve been mostly frustrated by the vast gang of fuckwhits who inhabit my office. I’m essentially forced to sit on the very edge of a call centre, while I’m sitting trying to work (or more likely trying not to) I have to put up with these basic fuckers wittering on about all sorts of rubbish. This week I was taking a healthy interest in the developments of the CERN LHC project and was excited by the progress made (so publically) when the thing stirred slowly into life. This highlight was somewhat marred however by having to listen to the mindless hoarded trying, in considerable vain, to explain particle physics to one another. To make matters much worse the most sluthernly of their number’s only input was to declare the whole thing as waste of money as “it’ll not cure cancer will it?” twat! It is this type of “daily mail” nonsense that makes me most frustrated and more likely to wade directly into their midst and beat them until they understand the importance of thought even at their level. I of course do not, I simply sit, watch, and say nothing; who’s the twat then?

Stopgapping

Published
by
Steve
on September 4, 2008
in Blogging and Rage
. 2 Comments

Stopgapping - noun 1. the act of sitting waiting for time to tick by. 2. The process by which a person’s soul is slowly eroded.

I originally started this page as somewhere to rant about the horror of being stuck in a stopgap job, somewhere I could vent the frustrations of the world in which I am essentially stuck and hopefully prevent it all coming out in the office. Putting the page up was the first step towards inner peace but since then I’ve largely used the page to whine and moan about the inconsequential elements of my life, I’ve been largely apathetic about my current predicament, until today.

I graduated in 2006 and was full of the naive hope of youth, I had been lead to believe that the shiny new degree recently bestowed upon me would open doors I could never have before imagined, yet alone walked confidently through. Around about 6 days after that I was forced by economic reality to take a job in an office doing something I’m still yet to fully understand. The intention was for this to be a stopgap on my path to the dream job I’d been told I deserved, however (you know what’s coming next as well as I do) I have now been “stuck” here for nearly 2 years.

The time I’ve spent here has of course had ups as well as the inevitable downs, I’ve been promoted twice (if into equally non-distinct positions), I’ve been disciplined three times, met a girl, moved house twice, owned more than my share of crap cars and spent almost every penny I’ve earned on distracting myself from the matter at hand.

Since starting at my present job a total of 721 days have passed, of which 499 have been working day. I have taken just 5 sick days, have so far spent 42 days on leave, I have visited the doctor twice and the dentist once (3 hours) which means that, by the end of the working day today, I will have spent 3161 hours (189,660 minutes or 11,379,600 seconds) stopgapping!

Back to today I can conclude that this colossal waste of time has cost me more than that naivety I mentioned earlier, it has cost me the chance to engage with an active and growing job market. I, like most people, have broadly ignored all the talk of a recession until it walked up and metaphorically smacked me in the face. Over the past few weeks I have stepped up my laborious offensive on the jobs market and applied for three (yes 3) jobs which have all come to nothing, all three positions have been “withdrawn”. I’m unsure as to why this has happened, it is probably one of the many unfortunate consequences of dealing with recruitment consultants, but it does worry me somewhat.