A short time ago I decided to stop complaining about my stopgap job and get on with finding something better. I’ve been working hard at this (I have at least been sitting in front of the computer trawling the web and hoping something catches my eye) and I’m beginning to pick up some leads; undoubtedly a good thing but it hasn’t stopped me from complaining. Perhaps I need to get it out of my system once and for all (perhaps my subconscious has already started trying to, I have been rather difficult of late) but I can’t see that helping as it is most likely to come out in a scathing flood while in the office. Principle to my concerns about self control at work is the fact that my boss is a total fuckwhit, allow me to explain. I work for a company that prefers to police its staff rather than offer incentives for good work, that sees staff as expendable and to this end is simply the most petty minded organisation I can imagine. On Wednesday I left the office 15 minutes after 5pm, some would call this late; I arrived on Thursday at 5 minutes past 9, some may also call this late. No forgive my ignorance but surely one easily cancels the other out, not so, my boss is a cunt! A little while ago still (all since I promised complaining) they decided to more than double my level of accountability and insist I supervise staff, there is no pay rise to be had for this (budget constraints apparently, I feel profit constraints may be more appropriate). Finally just to make things worse we are to loose a colleague and gain 30% more work each, I explained I was worried about this, they responded by pointing out that I spend around 5 minutes each day using the internet (quite conceivably for work, though I admit, like most I do sometimes use it for myself) at work each day and if I was to cut that out I’d surely have time (the argument that 5 minutes constitutes 1.1% of my day and not 30% is lost on these fat headed morons). I’ve literally had enough, I try to be positive but they are just such a huge gang of morons I’m really struggling to stick it out.
“Dreams are merciless; they come upon you when you’re asleep”
Joseph Heller, Something Happened, 1974.
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I’m not one to complain; I’m certainly not the type to start up a blog with the specific intention in whining about my job and life in general. Sometimes though it’s hard to maintain the positive outlook for which I am so well know; perhaps I loose focus. I’ve been working in this stupid soul destroying nonsense job for some time, I’m getting me nowhere and I’m certainly not getting used to it yet (never will). Meanwhile many of my friends, relations and acquaintances have, perceivably, been doing far better than I am. Many make more money, some enjoy their jobs, some are at least using the knowledge they gained at university etc. (All I want (need) is a job that isn’t mine, and if possible I need (want) more money too). The result of this is that I’m beginning to feel a little left behind, I’m moving to the periphery and becoming removed. One of my friends has recently gone back to university after 3 years of tedious stopgapping, another has just finished a masters course having spent 2 years part time stopgapping; in the same period I have gained nothing but higher blood pressure and a more dour outlook on life. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
It’s now a matter of my sanity. I have to do something, I have to do better. I have got to stop talking and take some action. Most of all I’ve got to stop complaining!
“Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.”
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This past week has been more frustrating than most, I’ve been mostly frustrated by the vast gang of fuckwhits who inhabit my office. I’m essentially forced to sit on the very edge of a call centre, while I’m sitting trying to work (or more likely trying not to) I have to put up with these basic fuckers wittering on about all sorts of rubbish. This week I was taking a healthy interest in the developments of the CERN LHC project and was excited by the progress made (so publically) when the thing stirred slowly into life. This highlight was somewhat marred however by having to listen to the mindless hoarded trying, in considerable vain, to explain particle physics to one another. To make matters much worse the most sluthernly of their number’s only input was to declare the whole thing as waste of money as “it’ll not cure cancer will it?” twat! It is this type of “daily mail” nonsense that makes me most frustrated and more likely to wade directly into their midst and beat them until they understand the importance of thought even at their level. I of course do not, I simply sit, watch, and say nothing; who’s the twat then?
Stopgapping - noun 1. the act of sitting waiting for time to tick by. 2. The process by which a person’s soul is slowly eroded.
I originally started this page as somewhere to rant about the horror of being stuck in a stopgap job, somewhere I could vent the frustrations of the world in which I am essentially stuck and hopefully prevent it all coming out in the office. Putting the page up was the first step towards inner peace but since then I’ve largely used the page to whine and moan about the inconsequential elements of my life, I’ve been largely apathetic about my current predicament, until today.
I graduated in 2006 and was full of the naive hope of youth, I had been lead to believe that the shiny new degree recently bestowed upon me would open doors I could never have before imagined, yet alone walked confidently through. Around about 6 days after that I was forced by economic reality to take a job in an office doing something I’m still yet to fully understand. The intention was for this to be a stopgap on my path to the dream job I’d been told I deserved, however (you know what’s coming next as well as I do) I have now been “stuck” here for nearly 2 years.
The time I’ve spent here has of course had ups as well as the inevitable downs, I’ve been promoted twice (if into equally non-distinct positions), I’ve been disciplined three times, met a girl, moved house twice, owned more than my share of crap cars and spent almost every penny I’ve earned on distracting myself from the matter at hand.
Since starting at my present job a total of 721 days have passed, of which 499 have been working day. I have taken just 5 sick days, have so far spent 42 days on leave, I have visited the doctor twice and the dentist once (3 hours) which means that, by the end of the working day today, I will have spent 3161 hours (189,660 minutes or 11,379,600 seconds) stopgapping!
Back to today I can conclude that this colossal waste of time has cost me more than that naivety I mentioned earlier, it has cost me the chance to engage with an active and growing job market. I, like most people, have broadly ignored all the talk of a recession until it walked up and metaphorically smacked me in the face. Over the past few weeks I have stepped up my laborious offensive on the jobs market and applied for three (yes 3) jobs which have all come to nothing, all three positions have been “withdrawn”. I’m unsure as to why this has happened, it is probably one of the many unfortunate consequences of dealing with recruitment consultants, but it does worry me somewhat.
From now on, signs in new stores are to say “up to 10 items” after a long running argument with those who have objected to the use of the word “less” in that context.
Many have argued that the signs ought to read “ten items or fewer” instead of “ten items or less”. Their argument is that the word ‘fewer’ should be used when it refers to quantities that can be counted. ‘Less’, they say, should refer to quantities that cannot be counted.
The new form of words comes from a suggestion by the Plain English Campaign.
“There is a debate about whether the word should be ‘less’ or ‘fewer’,” a campaign spokesman said. “Saying ‘up to ten items’ is easy to understand and avoids any debate.”
Guidance from Oxford University Press says: “Less means ‘not as much’. Fewer means ‘not as many’. This can be tricky when referring to quantities. For example, we say less than six weeks, not fewer than six weeks, because we are not referring to six individual weeks, but to a single period of time lasting six weeks.”
Hopes that changing the wording would provide a satisfactory solution to the knotty problem appear premature with some critics claiming that the new signs are themselves ambiguous.
Some would argue that “up to ten items” could mean “ten items and no more” or “nine items or fewer”.
A Tesco spokesman said: “The debate about what is right has been going on for years now, and I still don’t think we know if ‘less’ or ‘fewer’ is correct.
“The new signs will be in the rolling out of new stores. We are not going to see any new ones in existing shops so shoppers in those will not see the change.”
Source Telegraph.co.uk
“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.”
George Orwell, Politics and the English Language, 1946
Imagine my surprise when in another dull uneventful office meeting my boss uses the word tangibles. To put the use and indeed his idiocy into some perspective we were discussing a problem with another department’s output, someone suggested we should gather some examples of mistakes etc, to this the boss stated “Yes it would be good to get some tangibles.” I’m not pretending that my English is the best in the world but just couldn’t help but to ask what he meant and indeed if he was aware that tangibles wasn’t a word. He brushed it off without any consideration (ha I win) and as if buoyed by getting away with tangibles carried on talking absolute bollocks for a further hour (i loose), twat.
This moron and I do have some history in terms of his abominable bastardisation of the English language, I once managed to get him to actually put the word Dynamisize* in the minutes of of another dull meeting, while undoubtedly cool is NOT a word. With this in mind (and because he is a hateful little man) maybe I’m being a little harsh on him, perhaps he just does it to save time (pah) but it strikes me that this dumbing down of the spoken word can be nothing other than injurious to society as a whole. Unlike many other European nations here in the UK we don’t have any legal structure to keep check on the “development” of the language, instead the language is allowed to develop through it’s common usage. My worry therefore is that if idiots like my boss are allowed to keep on getting away with it then one day dross like tangibles, ringfence and transitioning may be found in the dictionary, taught in schools and socially acceptable. The only way to prevent this tragedy is to stand up to these people now, don’t put up with it and issue correction wherever this nonsense is encountered, I will be and I expect you all to do the same.
*I made it up I’ll spell it how I please.
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